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Post by nix on Jan 19, 2008 21:16:54 GMT -5
Here's a little thing I just did today. It's the Sedgewick Hotel sequence from 1984's Ghostbusters, but with a twist: this time it's the Filmation's Ghostbusters who are chasing the ghost. I've mirrored the original fairly closely, except I've allowed for the most obvious changes.
You will note that I've strayed from the cartoon quite a bit, but this is my attempt to say, "What if the FGB's had their own movie, like with that poster?"
Of course, I couldn't help but imagine Pat Fraley and Peter Cullen doing the voicework, so that was part of my basis for the dialogue.
Are we sitting comfortably? Good...we can begin.
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Post by nix on Jan 19, 2008 21:17:52 GMT -5
INT. GHOST COMMAND--EVENING
(JAKE emerges throuugh a door, carrying a large bag containing a TAKEAWAY DINNER of some kind.)
JAKE Were there any calls?
(TRACY indicates that there weren't.)
EDDIE Gee...there haven't been too many ghosts around, have there? Wonder what people think of us--ghostbusters setting up shop in a town without ghosts?
JAKE (suddenly angry) Oh, shut up, Eddie. We didn't choose to take over the business for nothing.
(TRACY looks doubtful)
JAKE You'll see. Things'll turn around soon. (suddenly changes mood) Now, then...Which one of us ordered a banana burger, French-fried bananas, and a banana-cream milkshake?
EDDIE (sarcastically) That might have been me.
(TRACY suddenly pounces on Jake, as if to defend his meal and its banana-ey goodness.)
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SEDGEWICK HOTEL
(A BALL of PINK SMOKE and BLUE LIGHTNING wends its way through the vent shafts. Suddenly, it coalesces into a monstrous form--a HUGE PIG-LIKE CREATURE, wearing an equally oversized ROMAN HELMET on its head. [Better known as "Pudgy Pig" from the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.])
(PUDGY SNIFFS around, furtively turning his head. Suddenly, he LOCKS IN on a hallway: he smells food! RUNNING as fast as his hooves can carry him, he makes a beeline straight for the KITCHEN area, where he causes general havoc.)
CUT TO:
INT. GHOST COMMAND
(The ANSABONE RINGS, then switches to MESSAGE SYSTEM henceforth.)
ANSABONE (mocking) You've reached the Ghostbusters. They can't come to the phone right now--they're going bananas!
(JAKE STORMS over, and irritably SNATCHES UP the receiver.)
JAKE (suddenly pleasant) Hello. Yes, this is the Ghostbusters. Jake Kong Jr. speaking. (irritably) Why, yes, we're serious. (delighted) You do? Really? Well, give me the address, and we'll be right over. Uh-huh. Thank you. 'Bye. (hangs up) Guess what, guys? We got work! There's a ghost over at the Sedgewick Hotel!
(They GROUP TOGETHER in the now-famous huddle)
ALL Let's go, Ghost....Busters! (high-five!)
(JAKE AND EDDIE get into the SKEL-E-VATOR [so-called because of its bone-like doors], CLOSE the doors, and enter in the 5-digit PIN Number.)
(We see the doors GLOW with a blue-white light, and SMOKE pouring out of the cracks. Then, with a shower of SPARKS, the doors open. The two emerge, now dressed in their Ghostbusters uniforms.)
JAKE To the garage! We need our equipment!
(TRACY joins them, and they DESCEND to the garage level. A quick MONTAGE of the trio gathering together: Dematerializers (Jake/Eddie), the Ghost-Gummer (Eddie), the Spectre-Snare (Tracy), Ecto-Strobes, a Ghost Detector (Tracy), and a Spook Scanner (Eddie).
CUT TO:
(The garage door opens, with headlights shining. The GHOST-BUGGY, a beautiful green racing jalopy, TEARS out of the garage at high-speed. Perhaps "Rock This Town" by the Stray Cats is playing in the background?)
CUT TO:
A TRAFFIC JAM
EDDIE We're never going to make it in time! Those poor guests are going to be so mad at us...and people are looking at us in this old heap, with a gorilla driving!
(TRACY looks at Eddie, offended. Suddenly, he is DISTRACTED by an LED display on the dashboard giving a message.)
DISPLAY Press the button.
(TRACY looks confused. He then notices a large black button, with a lightbulb BLINKING underneath it. He PRESSES it. Suddenly, we hear a strange whirring, clanking noise. And then...the WHEELS RISE UP ON EXTENDABLE LEGS! All three are TOO AMAZED to speak!)
DISPLAY Pull the lever.
(TRACY PULLS the indicated lever. More whirring and clanking, and...the RUNNING BOARDS SPRING OUTWARDS, forming a PAIR OF WINGS! The front RADIATOR GRILLE EXTENDS outwards, the grille itself transforming into a PROPELLOR. Meanwhile, BOOSTERS pop out of the trunk, followed by a RUDDER and STABILIZERS. The propellor begins to turn, and the Ghostmobile FLIES toward its next case.)
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Post by nix on Jan 19, 2008 21:19:09 GMT -5
FADE TO:
INT. SEDGEWICK HOTEL
(THE MANAGER greets our heroes as soon as they enter.)
MANAGER (with slight British accent) Thank God you're here. It's been chaos ever since at least an hour ago. I've had the entire kitchen staff leaving for the night. Most of the guests have locked themselves into their rooms, they're so afraid to come out! Naturally, I'd appreciate it if you could just handle this quickly and quietly. Got it?
EDDIE Yeah, don't worry, you can count on us! We'll bust that bozo for you!
MANAGER Good. I'll leave you to it, then.
CUT TO:
THE KITCHEN
JAKE is snooping around. Suddenly, his nose begins TWITCHING. There is a FLASH OF LIGHT across the room, and Jake hears DISGUSTING SNUFFLING NOISES and PLATES BREAKING in the refrigerator area. He PEEKS AROUND THE CORNER with curiosity, which turns to SHOCK as he sees Pudgy Pig scarfing down most of the food.
JAKE (whistles through teeth) Christ!! That's the most horrible thing I've ever seen! (He whips out the Dematerializer, trembling slightly--mostly because of the cold.) (whispering) I'll just have to get him myself...
(JAKE FIRES. Unfortunately, the blast REFLECTS off a stainless-steel pan and HITS a dishrack, DESTROYING most of the plates. Pudgy gets scared and RUNS AROUND, finally DISAPPEARING through a wall.)
CUT TO:
FOURTH FLOOR
TRACY is "scanning" the area with his Ghost Detector. The crystal ball-like "display" suddenly GLOWS RED, and a GREEN ARROW POINTS off to the RIGHT. Following the trail, TRACY tracks down the ghost. Meanwhile, EDDIE is also on the fourth floor, using the Spook Scanner to project an "outline" of the ghost. He looks down the hall...and finds Pudgy, who STOPS and looks at EDDIE. He decides to use his Comm-Link.
EDDIE (stammering) J...J...Jake...I--I see him. He's right in front of me.
JAKE (through Comm-Link) Yeah. He's an ugly guy, isn't he?
EDDIE Don't say that!! I think he might hear you.
JAKE Well, don't move, then. Remember, he's only a ghost. He can't hurt you.
(PUDGY CHARGES toward EDDIE.)
EDDIE (screaming) JA-A-A-A-A-KE!!!
(TRACY, running across the hall, CHARGES into Pudgy, KNOCKING him down. The offending ghost DISAPPEARS through the floor.)
EDDIE Sigh...thanks, Trace.
(TRACY GRUNTS. A subtitle reads, "You're welcome." Just then, JAKE comes through on both of their Comm-Links.)
JAKE (through Comm-Links) Guys...Sorry I couldn't be there, but I'm in the Grand Ballroom. He's in here, and he's making a terrible mess. I'd handle him, but I'm trying to lay low for a few minutes. I hope he doesn't notice me...
EDDIE Sure, Jake, we'll be right there. (to TRACY) Let's go, Ghostbusters!
CUT TO:
MAIN LOBBY
EDDIE (to MANAGER) Now, don't you worry. We'll just be in here for a minute, and we'll take care of your problems. (sotto voce) Wish us luck...
MANAGER (whispering) Good luck.
(They find JAKE, who INDICATES Pudgy, DRINKING a bottle of champagne, as if it were water. Pudgy THROWS the bottle to one side, then GRABS another, polishing it off. He gives a huge, disgusting BELCH. EDDIE produces his Ghost Gummer and takes aim. JAKE does the same with his Ecto-Strobe.)
JAKE Okay, guys. Ready? Right, Eddie, I need you to give him some Ghost Gum. Fire!
(EDDIE fires an UNCONTROLLABLE BARRAGE of gumballs at Pudgy, who, being a little slow to dodge after all that, GETS HIT with some gum, STICKING HIM to the floor slightly. Pudgy tries to CHARGE at JAKE, but TRACY uses the Spectre-Snare to BIND the ghost. Pudgy breaks free of the gum and sends TRACY on a wild ride through the ballroom, like a WILD BULL does to a WRANGLER. Finally, having had enough, JAKE and EDDIE use their Ecto-Strobes to BLIND Pudgy, who throws his hooved hands over his eyes.)
JAKE Right! The Ecto-Strobe's taken something out of him. Tracy! I need you to draw a chalk circle around him before he moves again! Go!
(TRACY pulls a PLUMB-CHALK out of his pack, and runs around Pudgy, drawing the chalk circle. The circle emits a FLASH of light, imprisoning the beast within it. JAKE pulls out the Dematerializer.)
JAKE Okay, boys, I'm going in. Dematerializer's fully charged, so here goes nothing.
EDDIE Shouldn't you say "here goes something?"
JAKE Whatever. (He TAKES AIM.) Say goodnight, bozo!
(He FIRES. The beam of light hits its mark, and Pudgy gets caught in a WHIRLWIND of energy, slowly disappearing until nothing is left...except for a 4" x 6" card with his image PAINTED ON IT. TRACY picks up the card.)
EDDIE Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?
(TRACY rolls his eyes in dismay.)
JAKE What's that you've got in your hand, Tracy? (he takes the card) Interesting...Very interesting. What kind of a man paints the image of a ghost, and then makes that ghost come to life? Let's take it back to Ghost Command. Maybe we'll find some clues.
(THE MANAGER bursts in.)
MANAGER Did you see it? What happened?
JAKE We got rid of that pesky ghost, all right.
EDDIE What a knockabout of pure fun THAT was!
(JAKE shows the card to the manager.)
MANAGER (worried) Will it be coming back?
JAKE I don't think so.
MANAGER So...how much will that be?
JAKE (writing down figures on a notepad) Let's see...mileage in getting here, plus time spent investigating...weapons expenses...I'd say the total comes to about $1,500.
MANAGER Well...I guess if it means whatever that thing was won't be coming back...You may pick up a check at the cashier's office, just off to the right.
JAKE It's been a pleasure working for you. Have a good evening.
MANAGER Wait! I need to say...thank you.
JAKE You're quite welcome.
(END SCENE.)
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ghstbstrlmliii
Ghost Buster
Texan Wonder
A whole different "music of the night."
Posts: 156
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Post by ghstbstrlmliii on Jan 20, 2008 22:55:33 GMT -5
That's pretty good. You're right on with the voices - I could hear the cartoon guys saying the lines. Nice touch with the "EDDIE: What a knockabout of pure fun THAT was!"
While very different than Columbia's GBs, I think it could be a very fun movie if done right.
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Post by nix on Jan 21, 2008 12:32:13 GMT -5
Why thank you! Just for that, I'll let you in on some history behind this.
I've always had this gag about using Super Sentai/Power Rangers creatures as Ghostbusters ghosts--they're comical yet somewhat frightening at the same time. So, when I sit down to write this, it occurs to me that Pudgy Pig is the most obvious one to use.
By the way, the Ghostmobile's undergone a name change and a new paint job as well! While I might encounter some criticism for this, I'll tell you now that it's more of a nod to the original "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", from Ian Fleming's book.
That, and I have a new design for the Ansabone as well--here, it's more like a regular telephone (perhaps with a rotary dial), but with an animatronic skull attached! The only "haunted" thing about it is the fact that it can insult whoever's calling! I think the receiver can be one of those old-style receivers, made up to look vaguely skeletal. Also, I want the "skeleton gadgets" to look more like something you'd find in a novelty catalog, like "Things You Never Knew Existed". In other words, unusual but very commonplace.
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ghstbstrlmliii
Ghost Buster
Texan Wonder
A whole different "music of the night."
Posts: 156
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Post by ghstbstrlmliii on Jan 22, 2008 1:28:46 GMT -5
Those would definately work for a movie. It would probably reach greater acceptance with the general public too (not quite as far out as the cartoon). It would be a great introduction to the Filmation's GB universe to those who have not had any dealing with it before, a way to kind of ease them into it.
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Post by nix on Jan 28, 2008 12:46:26 GMT -5
I have character profiles for Jake and Eddie here. I'll post them now:
JAKE KONG, JR.-- Age: 24 Height: 6'5" Weight: About 150-175 lbs Eye: Blue Hair: Blond to light brown Preferred weapon: Dematerializer
The obvious frontman/"star quarterback" of the Ghostbusters, as it were, Jake Kong Jr. is brave, courageous, and cool under pressure, not to mention the sort of guy most girls would hang posters of on their wall. Despite having all of these great qualities, Jake has a slightly unpleasant arrogance about him--his success has "gone to his head". Although he shares a good working relationship with his fellow Ghostbusters, Jake is capable of a sudden causticness, especially towards Eddie (but see below).
EDDIE SPENSER, JR.
Age: 22 y/o Height: 6'0" Weight: About 225 lbs. Eye color: Brown Hair color: Dark brown to light ginger
Eddie Spenser, Jr., second banana and (arguably) comedic foil to Jake. Accident prone and somewhat unsure of himself, Eddie is also alarmingly capable as a Ghostbuster...that is, when Jake is otherwise incapacitated. Indeed, he's becoming aware that his clumsy nature might be an unintended side effect of Jake's presence on the team. In other words, when Jake is around, Eddie is useless, but that's only because Jake seems to abuse his status a little bit. Even though he really shouldn't, Eddie understands and can relate to Prime Evil's minions.....
Side note: Eddie is the one who is most likely to end up in a harem anime. ;D
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Post by nix on Jan 29, 2008 10:51:36 GMT -5
THE GHOSTMOBILE
MAKE/MODEL: Morgan Aero-8 (or Plus 8-Plus) SPECS: 4.4 liter dohc 32V v-8, 325bhp (I have no idea what all this means), with 6 speeds (altered to autoshift transmission). POWERS: Goes from 0 to 60 in 10 seconds flat. Expandable front and rear axles. Capable of travel through air, water, and very heavy mud and snow. Can, with unknown technology, travel into the past and the future. Built-in GPS and Ghost Radar system. COLOR: Green AGE: Cars don't age...they rust.
From Ian Fleming's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: The Magical Car
...The big front mudguards swiveled outwards so that they stuck out like wings sharply swept back, and the smaller mudguards did the same...The wings locked into position with a click, and, at the same time...the big radiator grill slid open like a sliding door, and the big propellor of the fan belt, together with the flywheel underneath that runs the gas pump and the electric generator, slowly slid forward until they were sticking out right in front of the hood of the car...There came a shrill whine of machinery and a 'thump, thump, thump, thump' from under the car and, automatically, the four wheels retracted into the body so as to be out of the way and let the aerocar go faster without the wind resistance of the wheels to slow her down.
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Post by nix on Feb 3, 2008 13:34:00 GMT -5
I've had several good ideas about this during the past few days. First, I think it would be a nice twist if the sons had to inherit the business from their late fathers, who have died either of natural causes or during a case gone horribly wrong. It would be nice because this way you can get on with the narrative, and not have to worry about too many characters. It would also put the "library ghost" into a flashback sequence, where Jake/Eddie are boys of about 13 or so, being trained by their fathers. Second, I think Jessica could work as a human antagonist, at least in the beginning. Her role is the "Brenda Starr" whose goal is to expose the Ghostbusters as the frauds she thinks they are, at least until something happens to her and they have to rescue her. Also, I'm afraid I have become that most terrifying of Ghostbusters fans: the Eddie/Futura shipper.
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Post by nix on Apr 7, 2008 11:21:40 GMT -5
In the past few months, what started out as an innocent little joke (the "Slimer Sequence" thing) has taken on a life of its own.
I have to report that it's slowly turning into an entire motion picture script in and of itself. I've had several very good ideas about how to make it work, and viewing Hank Braxtan's "Return of the Ghostbusters" has been...enlightening. I will keep everyone posted on the script as it continues...
NIX
EDIT--4/10/08
I am now quite proud to announce that I have completed the opening sequence, involving the release of Prime Evil from the Bone Troller (here, he's merely been waiting for his time to come) and the flashback sequence where fathers and sons first begin to talk about the "family business"--and where we encounter a very different version of the Library Ghost.
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